Gave me 2 years

It was a period did not write a blog...
It makes me feels there are many thing i did not record down...
Scare 1 day i could not recall all the things happen to me...

Today really have the mood to type some of my feeling...
Maybe...
"i gotta feeling... that tonight's gonna be a good night..."
Hee...

I want to say coming soon i probably would have less upload my blog...
Cause i really have a very peak time table sooner...
And i hope i could do my best to withdraw some times to record down what i have did in my blog...

I have went to Penang for the 1st time 2 weeks ago...
It was a nice place indeed...
Thanks to Da jie for making this trip so exciting...
And the driver Yvonne and Jonathan too...
It definitely is a trip that inspire me the most in my college life...
And i will never forget the time we have enjoyed over there...
If got spare time...
I will post a blog about the trip process with photo...
As i have took lots of photo there too...

I have played a game recently...
It create some miracle of me...
Cause i hardly play game...
Because Jerry has recomend...
And i hear this before...
So i install it and play it...
It name "cashflow"!
All i have to say is...
This game had insult me and also enlighten me in my view of life...
Though it was just a game...
But it really direct me to look this world in more realistic way...
I took 3 days to finished mastering all this game details...
And it seems i can do better in my carreer if i play this game four years ago...
However,
I enjoy and appreciate what i have today...
Anyway,
It was a very nice game...
5 stars no doubt!

Hmm...
Recently...
I keep finding my friends to out for a drink...
I even make a call to those i rarely or always neglected friends...
I also support the activities organised with my course mates...
I hope the time we been together will are unforgettable...
Cause...
I afraid i will unlikely have the same chances again...

Of course...
I so wish to have the fun with all of you all the days...
But somehow i really can't maintain every single friends of me...
But i promise i will try my best to stay contact with you...
I promise i will register a facebook account once LC gang went UK...
I will take a leave to back hometown to attend ah yan wedding no matter what fair during that time...
Once i have free,
I will call Christ, eric, Jayce, Hong all this different colleage for a tea time...
Maybe i will organise a st. mary steamboat dinner once jack has back kl...

Now only i know actually i really have a lot of friends...
But also many of them i always keep aside...

Erm...
I got to be a 'cash hunter' sooner...
Not i have financial problem...
Is i gonna starts the most difficult part if i want my goal to be achieved...
I know...
Coming several years in future...
Everyone of my friends also will busy of their work then...
I was just a guy taking this process earlier...
Thats why i was so afraid some of them will lose contact with me that time...
But now...
For me...
Before i starts...
I just wish i could have my probably 'last' drink and chat with all my friends...
Though i extremely tired of hanging around with different friends this few days...
But what i should say is i truly enjoy the time...
Cause friends are part of my life...

'Bagoods Network is planning to open a shop in coming two months'

We select the place already...
And everyone of us are starting planning the budget and human capital...
Is a most critical part for me and also my company...
As this investment is the biggest and the most riskiest for us...
But it also was the crucial part for us to become the real competitor in the market.
I was quite happy actually...
Though i have fail 3 subjects in my pass semester...
But if i resit successfully...
I could be very proud of myself as i really able to achieve my highest target in my college time...
As i write in the previous blog before...
My target is to have 3 Kiosk before i graduate...
Hee...
For information...
I really own 3 Kiosk in different part of the KL now...
If i could pass the exam...
I could officially say that: I did it!^^

Now is the highest level for me to challenge...
Opening a shop is not a small matter...
It at least need to sign up a one year contract...
And have to spend more inventories and the renovation fees...
Argh...
I really pening about all this pass two weeks...
And it continue in coming days...
So...
If i got it...
I really need to say bye bye to all my fellow friends...
Losu have to busy le...
No play play le...

Here...
I not paiseh to say...
Gave me 2 years...
In 1 year time...
I would have a sufficient income to carry my parent expenses...
At least i won't regret not going UK programme...
Another 1 year time later...
Dad, mom and brothers...
I will prove to u all that i could be a 25 years old millionaires...
Hee...

So...
Losu in this two years times...
Will really like a cow la...
Lui also won't cau le...
Just have friends now...
No time...
No financial freedom yet...
No matter how...
My point of view is still similar with some guys...
Where no capability, don't dare to chase girl...
Looks a bit cham...
But never mind...
Cause i know...
I not pia alone...
As i always know there are lots of buddies always with me...
Thanks my buddies!

im still losu

其实...
我也很想做一个普通的学生的...

每天上学时,
可以和班上的同学讨论功课...

下课时,
可以和朋友一同去happy hour....
Assignment来了,
可以一起去拼!
拜六礼拜,
可以去唱唱K,
走走街...
想家了,
就买个车票回家...

可是,
我自己不能不承认自己是个'复杂'的人,
won won 也认同我太复杂了...
纯粹一个书生的生活的确是满足不了我的...
今时今日的我...
flexible了...
很多东西开始对我来说...
只是我的一部分了...
我的全部,
已是很多不一样东西构成了...
有时胃口大了...
我也没办法...

为什么会酱?
每当我尝试点新东西时...
我都会渐渐的投入...
好过一段时间...
我就会接受了那样东西...
为什么我可以这样的开放思想?
我也不知啊?
有时,
我真的很想说...
其实我并不是变了...
而是我变的多样化了...
可是,
容易接受新东西...
是我的本性啊...
而爱体验不一样的东西...
也是我的兴趣...
难到这样就代表我不一样了吗?

其实,
也不能够怪你们...
因为这样多面化的我...
说真的...
也没有几多个可以接受...
不管是朋友还是情人或着是同事们...
都一定会对这样的我感到没安全感...
所以,
上次我一个好朋友对我的责怪...
我并没放进心里...

然而...
今天的我...
不能够那样诚实了...
如果我不懂掩盖一部分的我...
我想...
很多朋友都会像CAT哪样远离我吧!
因为,
事实以证明...
一当某人深入了解了的我...
都会不大想理我了...
就算是很喜欢我的人...

上上个礼拜回家..
欢庆中秋...
妈妈其实知道我考试的事的...
可是,
她一句话也没问...
一句也没有...
妈,
我知道你担心的...
我知道你是怕说出来会加重我压力...
为什么要酱?
你就说出来麻...
你骂我是应该的...
我酱大人了...
应该承担自己做的东西...
不想你还要那么维护我...
你可以做的,
都够了...
这次回去,
我话少了...
也不是我变了...
只是自己内疚了...

前天,
同学们都问老师...
成绩如何?
正当每个同学都很想知是否100%及格率...
我想,
应该只有在旁的我懂...
至少有一个不合格...
那就是我...
明天成绩就出了...
说真的...
我真的有点不敢面对...

到了今天,
也没什么好后悔了...
我罗仕源从来不为做过的是而后悔...
只是觉得很对不起很多为我操心的人...

我,
自己也很难做抉择的...
我不是不想慢...
而是我不觉的我可以慢下去...
我真的害怕爸妈那么老了...
还要为这个家辛苦...
操心...

快,
会让我加速进步...
同时,
也让我加速老去...
人人都说我像26岁...
难怪我一直都在找结婚对相啦...
不过,
老人家的我...
难免跟别人有代购...
所以,
请别怪我有时对你们的话题没感性趣...

今天,
我会写这么多...
因为我真的想把所有东西都说出来...
因为我真的很失望...
看见你们对我有那样的看法...
虽然你们没摆出来...
可是...
我心中无数...
我不是怪你们...
只是想说...
朋友,
是讲义气的...
只有讲义气的朋友...
才是永久...
想跟你们永久的我...
是否只能期待?

Kuantan trip

Two days ago...
I went Kuantan with Leslie...
Driving my SS2755C to there...
And together with my senior lexmarker- Sen Jian!
We have a nice conversation all the way yo Kuantan...
Long time did not met him already...
Still so funny...

This Kuantan trip is to find our supplier- Robert
Abd met his assistant- Ah Zuan
Both who are very helpful and supporting us...
Therefore,
Beside went there for products purchase,
We also excited to have a tea with them...

We stay there not very long...
Only one night...
But we still 'Sempat' go clubbing there...
It was the cheapest fees i ever spent for a club that night...
Only 30 bucks!
The next day,
After we took our stock,
We depart to KL...
There was no photo i have took over there...
As a memory...
Is not i malas...
Is i no mood to use normal compact camera...
As i am eying a SLR camera...

Back here...
Already at night...
But we still have some spare time to meet up our young ERIC...
As he has come to KL already...
That night...
I was very down...
And felt very depress again...
After Eric told us some valuable experience...
I...
Confuse...
And until today of me...
Who sitting in the room typing his blog...
Actually is very demotivated...
And lost...

My 6600 GG.com

Aiks...
My hand phone spoilt already...
MCB...
Now really don't know how...
No phone really hard to survive now...
Loss connection...
Most important is people can't find me...
Later people say me lansi...
No answer phone or reply message...

Don't know when a handphone become very important to me...
Looks like no 'him' will die le...
Although I did not use it to chat as Choco did every night...
But i really rely on it now...
Especially if my customer wanna call me but engage...
Sei lo...

My car also is the time le...
Always feel thirsty one...
One day miss add water will dying then...
Plus i need paint it as last time kena hit but I haven't make up for him yet...
Cham~~
Overall...
This time need spend gao gao already...

Chin chin chin...
I need chin...
I agree,
Something money really cannot buy...
But if no money really say bye bye!

BaGoods Network...
When 'you' only will grow up ar?

Not enough

Very busy recently...
Even chocolate sleep next to me also didn't have chance to talk to me for few days...
Cause...
He wake up; I out to work,
He sleep, I back hope...
Anyhow,
I didn't feel exhausted yet...
Instead, I felt not enough...
Cause,
I like this type of feeling...
A director lifestyle...

I enjoy my working extremely...
But anyhow,
I didn't not see any better income yet...
Though my business is still gradually growing...
Today we set up our BaGoods second Kiosk...
Haha!
Finally I got out let loh!
Feel so happy...
However,
To make sure it is profitable and could maintain is the most important...

Now,
I so excited to have our third Kiosk...
In order to increase my payment...
Cause,
Now not CUKUP MAKAN...
HAih...
Anyway,
We can't have the plan yet...
Cause we are run out of capital now...
No point...
Have to fully look after this two remaining first...

Be frankly,
Now really very poor...
Though i consider myself is an employer...
But my payment is lower than my employee...
What the fuck!

However,
There is only one thing I know...
I need to be patient...
No very long,
I will turn my opportunity cost to become zero...
Cause,
I have confident.

This semester break will going to be very meaningful to me...
Cause i can enjoy my full time working day life...
I am not workaholic...
Just like experience different things...
Especially can explore business theory...

I didn't back hometown yet...
As all my friends have gone from KL here...
I really miss my parent...
And the little cutie Ally...
"suk suk xiang ni"

Just now,
I have a short chat with Steven just now,
A friend of me who is my ex company partner too...
I was touch and feel happy too...
Cause he looks wiser and more mature now...
As his ink and toner business bringing him become more responsibility...
I proud of him...
And...
That time...
More delighted is when i think of Carwen and Leslie...
Who have change a lot too...
Seeing my friend around me...
Stepping into another stage gradually...
I really feel proud of them... =)

Coming days...
I need to be more hardworking and aggressive...
Cause i need to prove to myself that i can!
And then motivate my team that they also have to give their very best,
After that to show my staff a good example in order to prove them i'm right...
Ok.
I should stop here...
Later have to wake at 6am
To do some stuff...
Iuan,
Jia you!

A perfect ending

last night,
Again,
Cat and me are in the same club,
We all went there to celebrate Klien birthday...
Together with exam over...

This time,
I rarely dance with her...
And she also did not dance with me...
What i can say is both of us also know what is exactly happen...
Just wish to enjoy the memories we have been through...
I am happy that we did not feel embarrassing to each other...
At least,
Both of us get to have a nice friend...

A met with her,
I can say is just a nice and sweet dream to me...
A short dream...
Don't know why,
I been club so many time,
Have knew few chicks there...
I never think of them after the clubbing night...
Only Cat is the exemption...
I think that's the reason why i will writing her in my blog now gua...

Last night after the music end,
We all gather in the lobby there...
Surprisingly she approach to me,
Saying a word of 'sorry',
I don't know why,
I couldn't express my feeling,
And i don't know how to response her,
Cause i know,
I really did not blame her anyway,
Finally i told her is ok,
No need sorry...
I just,
Get her in my arm,
And hug her...
In that moment,
I feel very touch and blessing,
Nice to have such perfect ending...

Just want to write...

I slept 2 hours only last night...
Cause last night went clubbing...
Till 5a.m. only reach my home...
Early morning just now i need to find my brother...
And send Klien to work...
Now is really exhausted.

But,
Don't know why...
There is a strong feeling for me...
To write blog...
Looking back the time...
Gradually,
I have started blogging for more than half a year already...
Over here,
It really help me to express my feeling...
Feel comfortable and peaceful...
Each time after I typing down all my emotion here...
Thanks for those who support...

I always think people find it difficult to understand me...
Some of them even afraid of me due to this...
Actually is not you all problems...
Even is me i sometimes also hard to define myself...
Cause I was too 'character flexible'...
The only can blame is i too open minded...

There are so much feeling right now...
I could not know what kind of feeling is that...
That's why last night i truly enjoy dance in the Ministry of Sound...
Feel relax...
Happy...

I very tired now...
Plus sleepy...
I continue later...

Im open minded

Today i'm so sorry to be late...
Wrong way i have got...
And full house parking...
Took me much time...

It was my first time to Leisure Mall...
By my own car...
Reaching there when i saw You,
I almost couldn't recognice You...
Luckily You have your red gown...
Cause your make-up has masking You...

I have try my best in my recording...
Sorry for the shaking output...
Though some mistake happen in You,
But You have did your best...
And You have done very well...

It was a bit uncomfortable...
When You gave a 'Hi' for me,
After You first saw me at there...
I wouldn't know why we become so unfamiliar...
Maybe we are like this actually...

I don't know why I have this blog today...
Maybe I really have so much thing to speak it out...
However,
I still fine here...

I hope You won't avoid me...
Or scare at me...
As I am an adult...
A patient man...
I only looking for understanding...
Not a disputation...

Tell You,
What i most worry is actually You...
If You really happy with Your choice...
I have no comment...

I know i weird...
Making you so frustrated...
If that's the reason,
At least You let me know...
I could have better understanding...
Since You say before that honesty is significant...

However,
I don't know whether is the problem of Him...
Seriously,
I won't blame You if yes...

God is fair...
And destiny is in human hand...
You get what You gave...
You will have a happiness life no matter how...
I just wish...
If anything happen,
I'm here patiently ready for You...
Don't wish that You take it alone...

Im not afraid anymore

Today is 12 september2009,
My third exam date of second last semester final exam,
Which starts at 9am end at 12pm...
And I,
Now 11.13 am,
Hanging around at old town…
Reading my Strategic Planning & Management subject,
While everyone of my course mate is sitting for the FMR paper…
WHAT THE HELL?

I spend myself an old town breakfast…
With my lovely White coffee and Omega half boil egg…
This is the reward to me…
Who finally could make up his mind to do such decision…
A decision of becoming ODD…

Long time to come to this conclusion…
Took many breathe, refer many people’s opinion, and…
Repeatly asking myself several times…
This time…
I want have a decision for my own…
I know is odd…
Cause it against the ‘nature’, ‘culture’, and ‘trend’…
But if I believe my way…
I shouldn’t distrust and de-motivated by others factors…
Only I know what real condition am I,
And only the God know is that my choice is right or wrong,
Even though one day I was wrong,
I don’t care who will blame me…
As 聖人(god man) also will done wrong…
Why Losu can’t?

I know my choice is risky…
I know my selection is weird…
But I don’t care…
Most important I need to know what I am doing…
And to believe myself,
As long as I will responsible for the consequences…
Then I don’t care others how to look at me…
I won’t say sorry this time…
Included my family…
Cause i didn’t feel that I will disappoint them…
As I have my own way to back up…
However,
I still felt sorry to dad and mom…
Cause them so old already…
Still need them to worry me…
No matter how…
I won’t choose to lie to my family…
I rather they will worry or scold me…

Goh Goh call me pass two days…
I don’t know how to answer him once he knew my decision…
I hope to let him know at here…
That I really appreciate his call to me that night…
And I know he was so hard too when his words are scolding me…
I was so scare, so scare…
That one day,
No one dare to scold me…
Because I don’t want you all pampered me blindly…

The decision I made,
Beside chocolate and leslie,
There is no one could really understand…
I don’t want people guessing…
And I won’t explain…
I don’t want add on pressure to others…
I grow already…
I should learn how to handle my failure…
Since I don’t afraid…
Why you need to worry?

Bin Bin and his best friend-Shi fu know me well…
They trust me more than questioning me…
That might not the best for me…
I always know…
And also,
Only I knew,
Why they did so…
I have no comment on this…
Just a word to you all…
Thanks for the faith in me…

My business might not profitable,
My resit paper might not pass,
My “pet” might not have resulted…
I ready to the worst…
No worry…

I will pass SPM and MF…
I also very sure that I can pass the next semester subjects…
And I have no doubt about to clear the resit papers…
Most important I need to have faith of what I do…
I invite my best brother Isaac to come to my convocation…
I want my Boon Boon and Anna also sees my graduate gown…
If cannot come,
I will video call my Shi Fu and Hao Gui Mun to greet me that day…
I definitely will hug my entire course gang- The Password
One by one…
Will start from my dearly bochi!
And I will try importing my ‘manager’ la…
Jayce, to be my camera man…
No matter how,
I want a photo with Catherine
And…
I will spend my family at Luna bar!

NO MATTER HOW…
I ALSO WILL FINNISH MY ADVANCE DIPLOMA.

Yung ar,
Thanks to be my best buddy and business partner…
I might done wrong in the pass…
I should say sorry…
Please continue have faith in me…
Though you never give up…
But I will prove to you one day…
Give some time to me…
I am learning now…

Regarding last night…
Yea…
I don’t know what was really happen to you…
And I don’t know whether you happy with this…
But I happy too...
Cause you finally has make up ur mind too...
I will respect your decision...
I just want to tell you that I am really ok…
What you worry is just thinking too much…
Instead,
I more concern is how you going now…
I hope the factor is come from my problem…
Rather than have some other factor…

It was 12.40pm now…
It is raining outside…
My headset is playing a song of Eason Chan…
Now I have triple confirm that Eason is really excellence…
This moment…
My fellow friends have finished their exam…
So far,
I have only received a call…
And two message several days before…
I know who they are…
I just hope they can enjoy the day in England next year…
Rain has stopped…
And I,
I think I spend too much time here …
Its time to go now…
Before I end…
A song to recommend- 陈奕迅+叶倩文- 单车+珍重
Nice…

Result I choose to

It was my first time...
Sitting in the exam room...
Holding the paper...
Turning and turning the page...
No even one question i know...
In that moment...
My mind question me again...
Why i need to be here?
Cause i been thinking not to come today...
0 confident...

Finally...
I successfully make myself to be a bad student...
A trouble young man...
A man in loss...
Fail and useless...

Unexpectedly,
I was peace in my mind now...
However,
The feeling of wanting running out of the exam room...
Is really hurting me...
No matter how it was my first time...
I told Carwen and Chocolate,
They laugh at me...
Sharing that it was very normal in their pass...
Teasing me that i get to read their "book"...
haih...

I know i can pass it...
If i put effort...
This time...
Nothing could become the reason,
Beside i not preparing well...
I really felt sorry to many people...
To my parent who has high hope to me...
To my brothers who trying their best to advise and support me...
To Wen Jie who give her best to lend me notes and teach me...
To CatCat who always remind me to study...
To Shi Fu who spend much time to guide me...
Sorry, letting you all down...
I shall say thank you too of everything have done to me...
I not dying yet,
I have my resit paper in final sem...
My biggest wish is letting you all attend my convocation...
It sure will come to reality...

I accept

It was unlikely...
That i could have time to write blog during this exam season...
Because...
I really could not tahan le...
I totally cannot concentrate my studies...

I stress...
Cause i need to study even though my heart not there...
I know i shouldn't say that...
But i couldn't lie myself anymore...
Pei Pei also withdraw le...
Why i can't?

I been thinking to do so...
A plenty of time...
But i know it will not ever happen...
Cause i still know what i want...
However...
I must understand "today is not the same as before"
Many thing has interrupted me...
Distract me...
No doubt...
I was a human also...
Low Shee Iuan also will confuse sometimes...
And i was in this moment right now...

Luckily...
I accept the fact that i was situated now...
But is that a good or bad...
Still don't know...
Accept makes me reduce stress...
But no stress won't have good performance...
Is a trade-off...
From my business perception...
Hee...

Maybe i should felt lucky...
As my "confusion" period come to this moment...
If it happen when i was younger...
Say secondary...
It spoil my whole life...
Looking back the time...
Fortunately that i was very serious in my study...
Resulting a good basic skill of me today...
If this time i cannot go through...
I say sorry to my family first...
Actually i should be the one to be apologize...
But since i have accepted...
So i only need to explain to my family...
But,
Anyhow,
It isn't too late...
Cause i still can continue if one day i recharged...
Maybe until MBA,
Maybe until PHD...
Who know...

But just one thing i cannot turn back again...
Which i getting older and older...
People do always reply me that i only 22...
Which people think is a starting point...
Especially for a guy...
But,
For me...
My soul, my mind, and my heart was exceed far away than this age...
Many thing i prefer or i like is different than the people i met in my badge...
If my interest are same as them...
I think i should live very happily...
Unfortunately,
I not...
Instead,
I love those adult live style...
Who need lots of financial support and experience to reach there...
And today of me...
Was only 22...
I was unaffordable by the age...

I sitting for my Advance Diploma of Banking and Finance for the final year today...
I was a piece of wasted if i didn't carry on and pass through it...
Although just a piece of paper...
But it only bring a good prestige of mine...
Nothing more important than that for me...
Cause,
I almost impossible to work for other after i graduate...
Lansi...

Family, business, fun, exploring and many factors...
That impossible bring me to the student life again...
No regret le, Losu...
No matter what happen to me...
I will just give myself an explanation...
Instead an excuse...
But i wouldn't explain to everyone...
Cause i will take responsible of myself...
Jia You! Losu!

A weird night

21.8.2009
Late night at 1.45am,
Abnormal...
I was not at home...
But is at a another person home...
Who i don't know her and she don't know me...
I'm here...
Just as a companion for my friend...

I,
Sitting in the corner of the kitchen...
With the wall fan blowing the mid night breeze...
Is sleepy and exhausted...
Anyway,
I was recharge and felt refresh...
Watching a charm and beautiful make-up profession,
Drawing and painting a piece of art on a teenager face,
Without charging any fees...
Haha...
What an odd moment i was situated in right now..
Furthermore i suppose belong to a revision hour with my thick notes and textbook at home...
Actually,
Every people in the house here tonight,
Is giving their best to perform a better show for a school event tomorrow...
And me...
For sure i support this kind of contribution la...
Anyhow,
I was mesmerize with this uncommon but interesting scene in front of me...

You know...
She was virtually beauty in this moment...
The concentration of her fancy job,
The great-hearted for the youngsters...
And the sacrifice for the arts...
Is all a different character with the one i saw in the dance floor in M.O.S.
It touch my heart,
As the word 'realistic' has totally fading away from my dictionary...
As compare with a business man of me...
Who only think to do a service job with payment...

I impress,
And felt happy...
It prove that the world isn't only concern the issue of pricing or reward...
But the love, the passion and the sacrifice as well...
Thank god,
For giving me such a unlikely opportunity to preview all this effort...
The effort behind the screen...
Although it spend my study, resting time...
But i did not felt proud...
Instead...
Should gave a big claps to these people...
The youngsters...
The make-up profession...
And everyone who support for this event...
You all are awesome...
I represent the society to thank all of you...

Supper with myself

Long time did not have so free le...
Always busy here busy there...
finally, finish all my assignment...
It like reduce half of my burden right now...
Feel really relax...
Now...
In late night,
Doing my company account...
But just now suddenly felt hungry...
Went down side mamak eat le Maggie Sup Ayam...
Cold and lonely...
Now back to my room...
Feel not initiative to continue my work...
Write blog then...

I saw some other people doing their blog...
With lots of design and decoration...
Haha...
I like simple...
Sorry my blog is very dull...
Haih...
I still have many photo have not post yet...
No time...
ZZZ...

Finnish assignment,
Need to start do revision already...
Exam is left 1 month to go only...
This time feeling better than previous...
Cause i been more hard working in this sem...
Attend lecturer, listen tutorial...
But not all la...
But at least improve than previous record a lot le...
Anyhow,
Many other stress from other perspective is coming to me...
The 5 sub i taking really not easy...
I still have high chances to die...

This few week i want to thank some one,
Mr leong Chee Chuen
A friend of my brother friend but also my friend brother...
He has put his full effort on me to guide me up and direct me...
I, Losu, can say lan si de...
Hardly trust someone...
But,
I hope i did not trust wrong person...
Cause i hardly find trust today...
Even myself...

Why i want to do something which no result?

I hate myself!
Of putting myself in this situation again...
Low Shee Iuan, why you can't be clever a bit?
You are totally disappointing...

The truth beyond the lie is a lie or a real truth?

What should i do leh?
Between truth and lie...
How can i differentiated it?
Can i trust on you?

This is not the first time...
That i received negative comment on you...
I believe you be truthful to me...
I trust you!
But why didn't you tell me everything?
And why i keep receiving people blame on you?
Should i continue have faith on you?
Putting me in the middle on the left and right path...

Sorry as i couldn't not to protect myself...
But i should...
Have faith on you too...
Then?
What should i do?

I don't wish to see you suffer in fact i can live happily...
I rather it was i...
If i took all the responsibility...
I thinking...
But,
I was unaffordable...
Image among my friends is extremely significant...
I couldn't lost them...
Moreover...
I have too much stress nowadays...
With this pressure add on...
I will collapse.
Hope you really understand...
How?
Is that i need to put all this responsible to you?
NO WAY!

I don't want to suspicious you...
I hope everything is explainable...
Once it be clarified...
I will defend on behalf of you...
From everyone's mouth...
If no one trust you...
I don't mind be the only one...
Hope no disappointment to me...

I miss you.

who can understand?

"Losu, no one will ever understand you..."

What i want,
Will so difficult to achieved?

My 'Vvery Bbest' friend also can't gave me what i want...
Who else?

I wish you can understand me...
Although I never thought you do...

I wish you can understand me...
As I always understand your position...

I wish you can understand me...
If I done wrong...
I don't meant to it...

But,
What if I really LOST?
Who can explain to me?
And,
Who can control myself?
Who can look after me?

Mom are not around me...
Though she does,
She is old already...
What for she take care of me instead the responsibility was I?

Brothers has done their best...

Friends...
Will be my only sources...

Thought so many buddies...
So many trusted buddies...
Eventually,
No one understand me...
No one willing to spend more time to me...
~During I really need you

I will never count on you anymore...
Forgive me if my trust on you end by today...

Losu,
Needs your support...
It just simple...

I really in the 'illness' today...
Again,
No one can understand...
And no one will believed...

May be,
One day,
You will believed...
But,
I won't let it happen...

Between sacrify me to prove to you...
I rather to sacrify you...

That's what I learned today...

please

PLEASE...
Please don't add on stress to me anymore...
Please...
I going in depression...
Seriously...
I starting seek for consultant in college...
Don't support me doesn't matter...
But,
Really...
Not play play...
Don't give pressure to me...

My roomate- chocolate- WS- Hao Gui Vui birthday

Again...
5 of us...
WS gang...
Go out together...
Previous time was Carwen birthday...
This time...
Is Chocolate- CHIN KUI VUI
Birthday...
15 July 2009.

We- WS...
Really old already...
Age old, friendship also old.
Don't know why,
Each time of our gathering...
We will very appreciate the chance being together...
Maybe inside each person heart...
It knows...
We hardly have the chance...
Though we staying together under one roof...

WS was form in November 1998...
It been 11 years already...
We all:
WS-{Hao Gui Vui} Chocolate
WS-{Hao Gui Kong} Carwen
WS-{Hao Gui Mun} Lycan
WS-{Hao Gui Yung} Leslie
WS-{Hao Gui Chun} Klien
WS-{Hao Gui Lo} Losu

Again...
Ah mun couldn't join us...
Due to he is studying at Kota Kinabalu...
Nevermind...
Still have us...
5 of us...
Get into my SS 2755 C...
Went to one of the nicest view at KL...
Look Out Point!
To celebrate Hao Gui Vui birthday...

Old man celebration...
Was only Yum Cha...
Without cake...
Without cream...
Without pool anymore...
But camera still have la...


We didn't took much photo...
Know de la...
Guys ma...
And...
See, all ah pek look already...

*The tobacco will represent Hao Gui Mun





One thing I must say...
The food there was quite nice...
Especially the pizza...
I love those food of the restaurant there much...
It give me a sense of traveling at the Arab country...
Hee...
We chat...
Relax and happily...
When we recall back the pass...
Its really...
Looks like it just a moment of changing...
Shock!
The previous of us...
Was a gang with a piece of mind of "friendship never be ended" attaching...
But,
Every one deny...
Include my mom..
Now, we proved!
We are a friend more than friendship today...
Close to a housemate,
Close to a colleague,
Close to a business partner,
And close to a FAMILY...
WS will never end
It was a compulsory nature fact...

Guys,
Proud to have you all being together all the life is going...
There will nothing can destroy between us...
No matter what happen...
Love you all always...
And Happy Birthday To Kui Vui.

PD trip - 10 of us!

It was 3rd of July...
A trip which has plan for long time ago...
Finally is being "on" by two car heading to Seremban...

Than Than' s Iswara VS. Won Won's Chevolet...

Sleepless!
Due to go clubbing the night before...
So,
I need to apologize to Won jie...
As i sleep
During you are trying very hard to drive...
Anyhow,
We spend about an hour to reach Seremban
Where we would have our breakfast!
-BAK KUT TEH

Actually, Seremban Bak Kut Teh was so so only... hee...

Just wonder why still got meter in the modern century...

After the breakfast,
We went to Chia Lee's house for preparing the BBQ raw food...
Thanks Chia Lee's mom...
Cause she not only spend us the chicken wings,
But she also made us lots of different food with everything ready to cook condition...
Anyhow,
Due to we are over excited...
We started have shooting photo spree...


They are to stress in assignment le...
Zzz...

If you don't like us,
Better stay away from us,
Otherwise you will get hurt,
Cause we all have incredible "power",
-CRAZY

From left,
It was Business Black Hourse- LOSU,
Genius Fashion Designer- Lao Gei,
And Future Top Model- Than Than

Then we go Port Dickson!
Inside the car...
Soon Wei keep asking..
Sea leh? Beach leh?
Haha...
Finally...
Is hiding behind this Hotel...
The Glory Beach Hotel...

Which is Chia Lee's cousin working place...
And because of him...
We get to rent a PENTHOUSE!
With normal price only...
Hehe.....


After we have a rest...
Some having a nap...
Some stay a the casino table...
That's where Pei Wen and Than Than learn new game...
-IN BETWEEN
Because there are too many "High Hand" le,
After more than an hour struggling in the war...
I forced to loss money...
ZZZ...
Without wasting the time...
We...
Go to the beach then!
The beach...

Still ok la...
Not consider white sand but still consider nice beach lo...

-Sun Shine Girls & Boys

The sea...

Obviously it was Zzz...
Vin said even can see some oil and black thing floating on the surface...

We pretend enjoy for some while de actually... Because we not really have fun in the polluted sea..
Lagi, Soon Wei and KC has "break the Light"...
Haih...



Therefore,
We shift to another place...
-The POOL
Zzz...
Wonder why want to go pool...
Since MU also got a swimming pool...
Haha...
We intend to go the adult there...
But swim guard doesn't allow us...
Due to we not wearing the swimming suit...
Thus,
We go the kids pool...
Where we has stole the kids fun paradise...
Hee...
"Hey sweety, can we join You?"

Lol, what a shame...
None of the female member of our gang wear BIGINI...
And...
Making us need to go child pool...
Hao sim lo...

Jon,
So sorry of bullying you...
But,
Don't know why,
Very like to punish you la...
Kakaka!!

TITANIC only survivor!

Mr Alvin Lim...

-This is the photo that I like the most

All of the Da Jie Da...

Our hand all turn "old hand" already...

After have some blissful hours in the pool...

We leaved...
This time...
Those parent and the children are the happiest!
As we monopoly their place for the whole evening le...
Goh goh jie jie say sorry ya...
We went to the beach again...
To have a view of the sunset...

We will never forget the beautiful sunset...

Back home...

We take turn...
One by one...
Have a shower respectively...
Sharing bathroom...
Sharing shampoo...
Until all of us become fresh smell...
Gather all the stuff...
BOOM!
We depart to our BBQ venue...
Bad...
Our reserved place have been used by people...
After Chia Lee has made the complaint...
Our party at the beach side has begin...

The fire...

Although it's dirty...
Although it's sweaty...
Although I ate the less...
But i still enjoying...
Cause...
I love BBQ a lot!

Dance...Laugh...Eat...

They high already...
Wan Wan really looks fatter...
Wakakaka!!!

This is "Chia Lee, Devil"
But not "Chia leee , Angel"


Bochi also gila already...

Sometimes...
The old man has his own creativity...
But, those youngster also not bad...
Very respect old man...
So good to 'layan'...

YUMMM!!!
Seng!!!

Again...
We couldn't separate from alcohol...
We even...
Cheers with the ocean!
Nice feel~




Back home...
To continue our another half Tequila...
No fun...
Cause all been trained already...
No one drunk...
Next time should buy more liao...
Anyhow...
We don't want let the thing stop...
We turns our living room to be a mini club...
Dance with the music...
And "mambo dance" also coming...
Really Sot Sot!
Due to I really exhausted...
I went to sleep without joining them for the 'casino part 2'!

Next day morning,
We relax...
Some wake up late...
Those guys...
Go dao pao for the girls...
Cause we can't cook the maggie we brought..
As the kettle was too dirty...



We eat and watch TV together...
All tired but feel recharged...







Before back...
Some of them didn't feel took enough photo...
Therefore,
We go to the beach again and have a shooting spree...


The Michael Jackson!

We will always remember You!

Bau busuk!

Lucky that noon not so hot...
Otherwise,
We become Sakai then...

Cheras! Don't beat me ya~~

But hor,
Lucky you have 178cm...
You should less burden than me...


Between...
We have took some secret photo where i can't post here...
Pai seh...

We have the balance in our budget...
Let's go makan!
But they went eat Seremban most famous fried crap!
I cham...

Lucky, I got fish to eat..
Actually the rest of the dish also nice de...

You see the finger! Cacat!

Alvin too!

That time...
Only all of us know Soon Wei has a lot of incredible skills...
Za dao!
We also went to Xiu Bao shop...
Before we back home...

DADA!
Without hesitating...
We sapu many Xiu Bao!

After that...
We went to Chia Lee house again...
And her mom again make us some Kuih...
Damn nice...
This trip,
We end by listening Chia Lee's piano..
Sweet~
After that,
We back home lu...

my destiny

Moody...
Yes...
I'm get in trouble again...
Alone at home make me more emotional...
That's why...
I stop the music...
And write down my emotion over here...
People always tell me...
"If yours then is yours"
And i...
Is whose?

Both YOU always make me confuse...
Both YOU are giving me same situation...
Is that i must handle my relationship in this way?
I wish i can gave the same to YOU as before i did to that one...
Even more than that...
And i knew...
I'm willing...
If for YOU...
Sorry for indirectly comparing both YOU...
Actually i not in comparing...
Just want to tell YOU...
I have got the selection frighten...
Long time ago after the previous case...
And i couldn't give YOU the same...
Though my willingness heart are hope so...

I beg for a single chance...
But just a simple chance i always fail to have...
Is nothing to feel incorrect...
If i felt envy to previous Mr. X and current Mr. X...
Now i really envy current Mr. X...
As you always have the chance with you...
I didn't blame the fairness that come to me...
I just hope YOU can know me...
As i...
May have your faith...
As i never have the chance to present it
To my beloved...
Even though i,
Only hope to present it once in my life...
And hoping...
That was YOU...

I want to speak out!
To everybody...
Losu is just as simple as a farmer in the paddy field...
Although i appear with a military post...
I not interest people like me because i'm a military...
Seeking protection...
Instead,
I extremely care those people with me in the paddy field...
I love you all...
I finding YOU too...
I knew my military attire making a gap between us...
So sorry for it...
No matter how i try...
I also couldn't make it become simple...
Because to protect my cares have always set in my duty of me...

We have end right here...
I'm accept the fact...
Yet, i'm okay now...
And i respect my destiny...
Got fate,
Text YOU message again one year later...
Take care...