i am losu

23 jan 1987, at sandankan, born a baby, call Low Shee Iuan. According Low You Yin, this baby surpose will not appear in this world... cause is an unexpected pregnancy( wrong timing)... mum try many way to drop this baby... but at the end... the fate make this baby come to this world...
i believe,,, it might hv somethg...

in primary school, many classmate want close to me.. dono why, each time arrange group, all fighting to same group with me... teacher also dono why special prefer me... ever have a teacher praise me good student in the class though i everyday dream in the session. Zzz..
I met Yung, kui vui, kang, mun, kit there... thats why we have WS... haha... Thats why have LOSU...
Losu is just a name name by them cause in hakka losu mean screw.
losu losu losu... everyone got a nick name that time... but only i never reject my nick name...
thats why losu still appear till now...

i believe i clever de... cause my academic result always not bad.. especially math...
haih... math ah math... why you always let me lansi de leh...
but, i just like this! i am i admit one o... same as i do admit i very weak in IT..Zzz...
small small already smart in agrue... Low You Yin always say me suitable be lawyer...
cause i never feel myself wrong... i believe if i do wrong, it also have some reason that make me do wrong... so i should be forgive... dono from where de theory..

small small go here n there... dono why i could have the freedom...
every parent sure control their children at that age... but why? i could...
i use to be can do watever i want... no restriction, no forbidden, no people can control me...
im the youngest in the family... dad, mom, brother always listen my reason... (i thought)
when i want do something, i can use all my point to get it ( i thought)...
i never thk i can be force.. if i don wan...
eventhouh during form three i need move johor... i also fight till i cant change the fact only move... my uncle also surprise why this 16 old guy will do so...even family decision also want fight...
in WS, i also leader... wat i want sure kui vui them will listen.. cos i very good in my point...
but, i so listen yung...
cause me and him is same...
like make our own choice...
tats y...
i always cant understand why kuivui cannot go out at nite tat time...
i always cant understand why engboon need to do household every evening...
i always cant understand why low shee bin need to study form six...
i always cant understand why she need to work till cant control, no life...
i always thought, we could choose our life....
hahaha... boss mindset...so childish...
tats why me and leslie so early want be boss...
but i believe i could...eventhough laugh me childish...
For me... life is just simple...and short...
just once...
so i will just appreciate every moment... spend with thg i want...
thats why, i so care the people i met....
and paiseh to say that i so proud to tell myself this:
"there is always you guy lucky to meet me..."
hahaha...
cause i will always remember you...

during college...i achieved work life balance...i got much memory with LC...i study and i work too...every month back johor once... haih... but start business a bit no balance le... cause i cant choose... my scedule not by me...
i don wan live in the way tat no under my control...sorry i choose to split...
but doesnt mean i want you die... believe me, this is not the easy thg to me...
one people want go way i thk death road, i wont follow...
if i thk tha is death road n i follow... it doesnt show i friendship with you, it just prove i no brain...
last time i may... but now i wont... kuivui approach is superb. i must use this better approach.
is better i standby n see how it can work for you...

going work le now...now only need start learn...wat is "no choice"... i unwilling to accept this fact...
but i getting feel is time i need know le... anyhow, i don believe i will take this... cos in my dictionary doesnt have this... hope in coming job i wouldn't fall into this no choice life style lo...
is going le...tats why so scare lo... scare i loss myself... fast fast type this blog first... at least if i loss should i read back this i know who am i actually... hahaha...

losu so proud to have many friends till now actually... primary got WS... St mary got issac gang, STK got engboon them... tarc got LC...so nice~ i proud have my family too...
just hope one day if i work till no life, loss myself, then offend you guys...you all can forgive me... :) cause losu not god, will loss sometime... i just feel very scare if i accidently loss myself n did offend you guys then loss any one of you...
i so scare le... i cant affort anymore...

an obstacle no matter how we shoud face.

not everything can try.
although no across the rule.
i have only learn this.

so helpless.
i dont know what to say.
beside just remain silent.

at least now i could define.
your word.
can be trust..
a so good feeling for me.

finally i high confident to go.
with this trust ship.
along to the ever best destination.
i hope.
i could deserve a special ticket.

maybe.
u afraid to give the special.
i understand.
is very sad for me.
but i will accept the fate.
the fate we only can reach here.

to go further,
must change the trust boat to big ship.
especially our case.
otherwise we difficult to sail everyday.

if you really trust me,
allow me a special ticket.
then we will see...
how nice the day in big ship.

cant sleep again

Recently,
got abit insomia...
cant sleep in the nite...
very long long time dint have this dy...
since my childhood.

when it happen,
for sure there is something need to do tomorrow...
but this time...
Is just a bit similar my childhood...

long time dint share my thinking at here le...
sometime type blog also because want save some personal memories here...
Just like doing a report.

now is 2.40 am
the fifa world cup final match is in this moment.
I,
dono why...
No mood to watch at all...
Not because i not interest football...
is just because...
something havent done yet...
cannot let go...

fortunately...
i have less quarrel with my dear...
Is feeling happiness...
however is ready for disaster anytime...
Anyhow,
thanks to her tolerant...
love her,
is born to be.

things i need to accept if i need my girlfriend

u from jb outstation to kl,
but i cant find u,
and u won't find me,
i need to accept.

u outstation with a guy colleague alone,
stay in same hotel,
even share same room,
i still need to accept.

but the guy colleague,
was ur ex boyfriend,
a guy u love deeply half year ago,
and i,
still forced to accept.

after accept all this thing,
when u at kl these few days,
i cannot call u,
cannot message u,
cause u busy,
tolerant ask me to accept.

time turn when u free one night,
we just start sms,
but you told me u want sleep,
wait till you wake up,
you din't call me too,
even i force u,
you also unwilling do,
i can't accept.
but i still,
ask me to accept.

today,
u accidentally come to my working place for work,
and i accidentally going there too,
we are in the same mall,
but,
u never think of wan meet me,
even a short while,
but i still told you to come,
but you insist drag away the fate we have,
i wouldn't force this time,
cause i really think is too over,
i couldnt accept finally.