family~

is listening music...
drinking two bottle of tiger...
under 18'c air-con...

is tiring...
can feel the shoulder is so hard...
my dad n mom n the little niece just back to kluang...
after 3 days two nite trip at kl...
is so delighted...
can have a time with them at kl...
although i only meet them two days...
although i feel a bit headache of drive here n there...
but i still excited of the time together...
people getting older le...
will more appreciate their family...
always the youngest at home of me...
more harder have the responsibility of family..
but i knew...
i love them...
lots..
more than what i expect i could do...
time pass...
still can remind the time when they still can hug me...
remember the time we play badminton at the road side...
the time we one family went to watch movie together...
also...
i could remember the time how i make them angry in the in car at kluang...
how fight with them...
mom dad old le...
gettting older n older...
happy is they still maintain healthy...
no much time they still can like today...
walk so long in the shoping complex...
when only i can earn enough leh?
how long left i only can bring oversee see snow in the winter season?
i was hoping my career could more stable as soon as possible..
may my wish come true~

因为我不喜欢比胜负

就好像打羽毛球的李宗伟， 如果他尽能力了， 输，也不用紧。 做好自己了，就可以了。有什么好讲的叻？一哥不用输啊？我还是会欣赏他，因为他是个努力的健将。努力的人，是比先天有的还要吃苦。。。我尊敬！胜和负， 真的那么重要吗？ 胜利，也不一定很难。要胜，可以有很多手段。输，也可以不是因为弱。而不喜欢比胜负的我，不是因为怕，而是比较重视自己有没有做好自己。赢，就更开心咯；输，就想下次做更好吧。尊严，对我而说，也不是很在乎的东西。难道做“鸡”就不是人吗？有那个有翅旁的不想当凤凰？有的选择，我都想当哈利波特男主角。嗨，人很奇怪的动物。因为太有思想了。想要这个，想要那个，有时，也没有想过，自己所有的，是怎样来的。 我也是个贪的人。这真常。可是，我个人认为，就不要把自己的快乐建在别人的身上咯。。 嗨。。今天我的邻居小妹被骗了。电话和钱没了。。可怜。。。有时，我不晓得，人民为何，爱投诉政府这，投诉那。。不是说投诉不好，只不过，有没有想清楚，你的投诉，是以大局为重吗？有没有林吉祥那样为人民着想？如果有，我也尊重你。哈哈。如果一百层大厦建了会让经济提升，也不是个坏事。起码如果经济提升，每个人民都有好处。比建学校，我个人会觉得比较有大局为重的。虽然它不一定会有这么好效果，可是政府的决定，也是一种投资啊。。我们做生意可以有机会投资失败，为什么政府不能？若成功呢？反正就是大家要有福同享，有难同党的心态嘛，不要老是想自己的利益。可是，不投资就一定死的啦！常常，我都会给人家批评，说我做的不好，做错了，不应该将，那样。我，当然不高兴。那，我会检讨，再检讨，做好为止。别人认为太迟了，不理了，也没关系。因为检讨不是因为任何人，也只不过是想自己做得更好罢了。有什么做不对的，不美的，丢脸的，下流的，也接受吧。。自己也是人一个。每人都会犯错。圣人也不过是如此。我老友说，再美的美女，也是会放屁，打嗝，挖鼻屎。。。你我他，没有分别。。不用装。。。好啦，说完了，晚安。

im not going

since kui vui have go uk...
manythg force to swollen alone...
but,
thx soonwei has back...
but manythg still uncertain.
i still have to make my own decision...

losu,
you like to become general...
so is difficult when come to desicion making.
i support "that" was a solution indeed...

is been tough...
but thx....
i am tougher now...
thats why i like myself now..
nothing can beat me!

i expect nothing...
i learned...
i will know one day i could fail...
but afraid nothing....
i coming to handle everythg...
as long as my dad n mom are good...
then iuan nothing to scared!

life was different if u perceived ur life differently...
i accept i come from empty....
same i do need accept i go with nothing too...
for me...
the most precious thing i the world is to see people smile :)
i like to see anna smile, cat smile, eunice smile, yuk smile....
haha...
chicks smile most nice one!

in business...
R&D is very important...
i just want convince myself...
iuan ar...
is no wrong u do lots of research...
jia you ba...
hee...

finally i know...
i not old...
still more to do for next generation....
dear fren...
lets spread the love ba...
like mj do.

Ally, i miss u~

is enjoying the lonelymoment now...

i resign...
first time dint tell my family when do such decision...
i dono how to told them...
i don want to explain...
just want do what i plan to do...
what i really want to do...

i think everyone deserve a right to do his or her own preference...
if that decision doesn't affect others...

Freedom... uncontrollable... commitment free...
everyone also hope to become...
but is that we can go for it?

ya, if that doesn't effect others...
otherwise, is our responsibility to do something even though we don like to do...

is Enjoying Lonely...
i good to become single again...
now no need headache of that thing anymore...
i do really like business...
business fanatic...
hope to use my business,
to contribute to the society...
hope to use my business,
to tell my people that this is my hobby...
nth special in my life if i scarify my this hobby...
i love it so much...

from small,
i am a chinese chest player...
xiang qi teach me how to plan, create strategy, think long term,
count possibility, and how efficient i can achieve that.

ya, indeed.
i am a planner, strategiest, and estimator...
i hard to have this skill too...
cause it could condemn my personality...
but somehow, once awhile i will accidentally apply in wrong way...
cant say anything...
this is fate..
i born to have this...
and is my duty to use it in good side...
but if somehow i uncontrol or accidentally wrong using...
then is the meaning that is not my right time.
is destiny.

i would say i so appreciate what i have now...
i doesnt care whether i lost or i gain...
as long as it belong to me...
should be proud to have. chance to own..
nothing is eternity.
we just need to know we are in this law...
the law of universal.
haha...

if love me, don leave me. if wan leave me, don come love me.

suan le ba Iuan....
U did your best le...
if not yours then is not...
leave it...

it been almost 3 months...
i been justify as a devil...
i just dono why...
knowing me is this person...
but suddenly can so easily judge negative on me...
i just a normal person...
will do wrong also...
but why once i do wrong will so serious judgement...
till cant have chance to deal at all...
is so meaningless la my life...
everytime also like this...
even her also...
thought she will look out of the box...
but is same too...

ppl got high hope on me...
ppl feel i great...
ppl attracted by me...
but once i cannot do what they want...
there la...
a lot blaming...
a lot disappointment...
i will do my best...
can just sometime give some excuse on me?
why i can understand u all...
but u cant?

everythg has pass...
but memories still...
wan to forget it...
but i know is real...
but it was different than now...
i be thankful...
for making me more stronger now...
just if,
i could success...
i will thanks again...

double rainbow

what to write leh...
dono...
is so angry now...
but is still happy...
hungry... wanna out for dinner...
but no key go out..
honn havent back yet... nia sing...

dono why o...
recover le..
ok le...
still want make myself so no face...
haih...
is no point...
i dont care one...
face is not important to me in relationship...

heart so peace already...
eventhough many fucking respond from her...
use to it...
will bu suang la sure...
but really not like last time le...
happy with my performance right now...
stronger alot...
maybe win lose for me is not a big deal...
i think relationship no win lose one ba...
want ma go,
don wan ma say...
i enjoy being this style till now...
at least i will respect myself.
i dono other people how...
but losu is hard to let go person...
well...
everyone will have his weakness n strengh...
i weak of that...
what to shame about?
i human also ma~

today i saw double rainbow leh!!!
two rainbow!
haha, sorry i really first time see that...
people say after rain only got rainbow...
hmm...
meaningful ar...
i know i enjoying the rainbow.

many busy now le...
since i start my engine a month ago...
planning to have second kiosk too..
hmm....
is really following my plan 3 month before...
though was an obstacle come in...
but yet i still know what i doing...
just dont feel want be to logic n wise in relation only...
everyday face many job also use brain already burst...
no possible wan me face fren n family also need act ba...
i love them o...
act to them i so guo bu qu...

thanks "heart sutra"...
teh la kat teh...
dono wat...
but very nice music...
hmm...
i know i need to do what...
gv me sometime...
i always know...

settle

Although ready dy...
but still will sad...
i always knew...
i always understand...
but i not agree...
From that time till now...
i never agree.
No right to disagree...
cause not i choose...
Long time dint feel so alonely at room..
Long time dint so upset le...
this few week work very enjoy actually...
Perhaps i also dono it is real enjoy or a escape...
but i do, really know what i doing...
i do know it is impossible...
things never can settle together also same...

i almost forgot who it is...
i almost cant remember what is the real memories...
i forced to put it in a box,
never can open it.

walk alone,
is not my life...
i rather earn lessor...
i want have ppl share with me...
recall back last time partner with leslie...
is quite enjoy...
team with kui vui, leslie, kit at lexmark...
till now also excited if thk back...
who say work cannot tie with relation?
work life balance...
LOSU i am :)

i have my own handling problem skill...
i don't need people pity me...
but i like people care me...
who say guy cannot like people care?
who say i losu role must only to care people but cannot let people care?
i born with same features...
if i have more...
i always share with people...
i always pray for those miserable...
i give everyone fair...
i give everyone respect...
i just want a little bit selfish sometime...
protect for my own.
thats all.
Im losu, still losu...

people sometime never thk of both side...
possitive could be negative...
negative could be possitive...
advantages could be disadvantages.. vice versa...
when you like something,
u will thing it possitive...
when u dislike something...
you hate the disadvantages...
what happen to those think both side?

you will never know what is the feeling of being judge as criminal, by your most love.
the feeling like want to die...
cant breath cant eat...
willing do whatever to explain...
hope to be trust....

now.. i could wont bother...
want judge just go ahead...
i always loss because i too care...
now i just know...
i should care myself more sometime...
is really annoy me...

finally i rescue myself...
finally i also need to go for new life...
finally i could say...
i freedom.

man in the mirror

This two weeks have learned many things...
is fresh for me and i could say i improve me...
haven't pratically testify...
but theoritically it helps alot...
same lots of time to find myself...
is fortunately have a master to guide us...
erm...
Mr Albert have become my current learning target..
and i treat him as my fif sifu lo...

Everyday seem to a good day to me now...
getting put down all the matters...
Sometime it might bought me down...
but future days telling me i should stand strong...
and stand with pride.

Woke up early in the morning is new challenge for me...
somemore i staying alone...
work in systematically is most difficult..
cause i use to a careless and messy man...
be a good follower is my coming challenging job..
i should turn all my previous mindset as what i say...
i never can think of having a choice anymore...
i learn so call "force to".

Anyhow,
My concept of life will never change...
I will not change because of anyone too...
Though i seems neccessary for everyone...
but,
for me concept of work life balance shouldnt be terminated.
And i believed,
thats is the meaning of life.

i like myself when i concentrate one thing...
its beautiful...
not mean my look...
is the process...
erm...
long time din't have such feeling already...
but i think i hard to have yet...
cause i still finding some formula...

Just now looking at the mirror...
i saw myself,
looks really thin...
but,
I happy...
Cause i could seee my smiling face le...
I hope i can soon let go all the pass and..
as what carwen said...
light up my life...

Accept

Accept le... is nice.. release.. though is painful, but it bring forward... it not mean u let go... accept only ask you move forward... i, losu, here to say thanks for giving me this chance to realise...
life is not under our control...

actually something now i only know... where i always dono before... dono what is no choice... dono wat is forced to... dono wat is must... i been live in 23 years in this world, never knew what is the feeling when you have no choice in your menu but u forced to accept the one you don like the most... everything also have the chance to negotiate... everything also have the alternative way for me to do...that's what i behave in this pass 23 years...
finally, now only realize, i never strict to myself.

is learning to do my basic... is forgoten the time i force myself to study kimia n fizik this two crazy subject... is forgoten when i was serious in doing my work....
i found it was very beauty... i always remember, i want to develop sandakan...

tmr have to go training again... very excited to go... i found that sometime motivation is belong to our own. if very enthusiative to do, it is motivation. i understand, not everything must have an expected outcome. PROCESS is always the nicest thing. since at the end, every one have to die..

never blame anyone, never blame god, never blame myself, it just do your best what is under your control... if that is not under your control, u cant do anythg but just accept it..
love, is always around, if you really notice what around you, love it, appreciate it, but not to own it. cause nothing is eternity... we do feel sad, when thing not yours or when thing is yours but have gone... what you can do? :)
that's the game rule of life... you join to live, just accept this rule.

just allow me express my feeling here

sometime..
until now...
i still couldntt accept the fact...
is not i avoid,
is just sometime,
couldnt believe this...

i actually know what happen...
i know what going wrong...
i know what should i do..
challenging any task is exciting for me...
but challenging to put aside someone is nearly impossible to me..
i no confident...
i believe i would fail...
but i just want her.
i try whatever i could...
until the day i really injured and break down.

every breath i take will equal one miss of her..
every heart beat will asking me to care her...
stay very far...
with busy schedule...
with our relationship situation...
is trible hard to reach...
she knew this too...
that why she decide...
with the decision...
is end up every little pain from quarrel...
but at same time end up every little happiness too...
she choose, i just respect.

from now,
i have to hold the breath n heart beat to every little place...
to when i able to achieve my career target...
to whom i never can show it out...

is crazy for me!
is ridiculous!
i also dint deny i hv ever thk why my life so suck!
i admit i blame her the most...
many word why from my mind...
many blame from my heart...

this few weeks...
not easy to pass through...
cool down many...
think of myself...
...
wat i should say is...
no one should blame..
no answer of why..
i get know...
not everythg can under my control...
especially people...
if i choose to with someone..
i need to believe him or her...
without expect, without suspicious...
if trust wrong..
he or she is not yours...

i did done wrong...
make her justify she trust wrong..
result ours situation now...
i couldnt breath when i know this...
cause i never thk could be like this...
wats in my mind has justify i am.
it couldnt be explain...
cause is very alike...
even myself also couldnt differentiate...
i been accept once after long time debating...
finally i only get the answer...
but i don hope to exlain anymore...
cause it doesnt important anymore...
is up to future...
whether she could accept the fact...
important is i still know who am i...
it doesnt need do anything to prove in coming days...
i just behave who am i is enough...
cause if i am,
how behave also useless...

i choose to trust her...
actually she knew...
and she also knew why i trust but i difficult...
she knew all that...
this is the only way...
no people know why...
but now i could say...
trust, doesnt need know why...

i believe i know whats in her mind..
is sometime will think,
will it be necessary...

trust her,
thats what i only can do...
beside to choose let go...
i dont like this...
i dont like depend fate...
i hate count on destiny...
it make me dono what to do...
thats why i like question..

mouth say chanllenge..
but will i can do that?
i also so suspicious myself...
but i believe if i able to chanllenge,
i will be stronger...

now,
ahve to think how to handle every single morning when i wake up...
haih...

i also standing alone without soul without smile without tears too...
just believe someone will rescue me...

i do really love.

we both haven't prepared,
and also in confuse...
is time we rest...

i am losu

23 jan 1987, at sandankan, born a baby, call Low Shee Iuan. According Low You Yin, this baby surpose will not appear in this world... cause is an unexpected pregnancy( wrong timing)... mum try many way to drop this baby... but at the end... the fate make this baby come to this world...
i believe,,, it might hv somethg...

in primary school, many classmate want close to me.. dono why, each time arrange group, all fighting to same group with me... teacher also dono why special prefer me... ever have a teacher praise me good student in the class though i everyday dream in the session. Zzz..
I met Yung, kui vui, kang, mun, kit there... thats why we have WS... haha... Thats why have LOSU...
Losu is just a name name by them cause in hakka losu mean screw.
losu losu losu... everyone got a nick name that time... but only i never reject my nick name...
thats why losu still appear till now...

i believe i clever de... cause my academic result always not bad.. especially math...
haih... math ah math... why you always let me lansi de leh...
but, i just like this! i am i admit one o... same as i do admit i very weak in IT..Zzz...
small small already smart in agrue... Low You Yin always say me suitable be lawyer...
cause i never feel myself wrong... i believe if i do wrong, it also have some reason that make me do wrong... so i should be forgive... dono from where de theory..

small small go here n there... dono why i could have the freedom...
every parent sure control their children at that age... but why? i could...
i use to be can do watever i want... no restriction, no forbidden, no people can control me...
im the youngest in the family... dad, mom, brother always listen my reason... (i thought)
when i want do something, i can use all my point to get it ( i thought)...
i never thk i can be force.. if i don wan...
eventhouh during form three i need move johor... i also fight till i cant change the fact only move... my uncle also surprise why this 16 old guy will do so...even family decision also want fight...
in WS, i also leader... wat i want sure kui vui them will listen.. cos i very good in my point...
but, i so listen yung...
cause me and him is same...
like make our own choice...
tats y...
i always cant understand why kuivui cannot go out at nite tat time...
i always cant understand why engboon need to do household every evening...
i always cant understand why low shee bin need to study form six...
i always cant understand why she need to work till cant control, no life...
i always thought, we could choose our life....
hahaha... boss mindset...so childish...
tats why me and leslie so early want be boss...
but i believe i could...eventhough laugh me childish...
For me... life is just simple...and short...
just once...
so i will just appreciate every moment... spend with thg i want...
thats why, i so care the people i met....
and paiseh to say that i so proud to tell myself this:
"there is always you guy lucky to meet me..."
hahaha...
cause i will always remember you...

during college...i achieved work life balance...i got much memory with LC...i study and i work too...every month back johor once... haih... but start business a bit no balance le... cause i cant choose... my scedule not by me...
i don wan live in the way tat no under my control...sorry i choose to split...
but doesnt mean i want you die... believe me, this is not the easy thg to me...
one people want go way i thk death road, i wont follow...
if i thk tha is death road n i follow... it doesnt show i friendship with you, it just prove i no brain...
last time i may... but now i wont... kuivui approach is superb. i must use this better approach.
is better i standby n see how it can work for you...

going work le now...now only need start learn...wat is "no choice"... i unwilling to accept this fact...
but i getting feel is time i need know le... anyhow, i don believe i will take this... cos in my dictionary doesnt have this... hope in coming job i wouldn't fall into this no choice life style lo...
is going le...tats why so scare lo... scare i loss myself... fast fast type this blog first... at least if i loss should i read back this i know who am i actually... hahaha...

losu so proud to have many friends till now actually... primary got WS... St mary got issac gang, STK got engboon them... tarc got LC...so nice~ i proud have my family too...
just hope one day if i work till no life, loss myself, then offend you guys...you all can forgive me... :) cause losu not god, will loss sometime... i just feel very scare if i accidently loss myself n did offend you guys then loss any one of you...
i so scare le... i cant affort anymore...

an obstacle no matter how we shoud face.

not everything can try.
although no across the rule.
i have only learn this.

so helpless.
i dont know what to say.
beside just remain silent.

at least now i could define.
your word.
can be trust..
a so good feeling for me.

finally i high confident to go.
with this trust ship.
along to the ever best destination.
i hope.
i could deserve a special ticket.

maybe.
u afraid to give the special.
i understand.
is very sad for me.
but i will accept the fate.
the fate we only can reach here.

to go further,
must change the trust boat to big ship.
especially our case.
otherwise we difficult to sail everyday.

if you really trust me,
allow me a special ticket.
then we will see...
how nice the day in big ship.

cant sleep again

Recently,
got abit insomia...
cant sleep in the nite...
very long long time dint have this dy...
since my childhood.

when it happen,
for sure there is something need to do tomorrow...
but this time...
Is just a bit similar my childhood...

long time dint share my thinking at here le...
sometime type blog also because want save some personal memories here...
Just like doing a report.

now is 2.40 am
the fifa world cup final match is in this moment.
I,
dono why...
No mood to watch at all...
Not because i not interest football...
is just because...
something havent done yet...
cannot let go...

fortunately...
i have less quarrel with my dear...
Is feeling happiness...
however is ready for disaster anytime...
Anyhow,
thanks to her tolerant...
love her,
is born to be.

things i need to accept if i need my girlfriend

u from jb outstation to kl,
but i cant find u,
and u won't find me,
i need to accept.

u outstation with a guy colleague alone,
stay in same hotel,
even share same room,
i still need to accept.

but the guy colleague,
was ur ex boyfriend,
a guy u love deeply half year ago,
and i,
still forced to accept.

after accept all this thing,
when u at kl these few days,
i cannot call u,
cannot message u,
cause u busy,
tolerant ask me to accept.

time turn when u free one night,
we just start sms,
but you told me u want sleep,
wait till you wake up,
you din't call me too,
even i force u,
you also unwilling do,
i can't accept.
but i still,
ask me to accept.

today,
u accidentally come to my working place for work,
and i accidentally going there too,
we are in the same mall,
but,
u never think of wan meet me,
even a short while,
but i still told you to come,
but you insist drag away the fate we have,
i wouldn't force this time,
cause i really think is too over,
i couldnt accept finally.

I hv made up my mind.

I think is the max le....
From today on...
我不会再要自己妥协。

Something i also couldnt know how

Sometime...
I do miss him...
have pass 3 weeks...
It looks we like nth...
stay under same roof...
But...
conversation where...
...

Miss the time we been together...
No matter is during we small or youngsters or adult...
Miss the time we cross over the tough period...
Miss the time we celebrate the victory...
Yes i do...

i know he tough in this period...
i know what will going in coming days...
i also know what how he going to handle it...
i know...

"Perfect man" is not here...
"wondering man" also not here...
" social number two" yet is at sabah...
"old man" here... but...
left a "happy go lucky man" dont know what to do...

after last night...
i only realize...
i actually is keeping and enduring all this in pass 3 weeks...
i,
Dint think of regret...
Also,
i not looking back...
is just...
A feeling which not everyone could understand...

tires not because of work

I do found a most stubborn person in my life...
unfortunately...
This person is the one i hope to be together in my coming life...
I,
wouldn't know,
How life will going...
in my future...
if with this situation...

Is tiring...
tiring of all kind of unreasonable principle...
principle without any logic...
principle without thinking others...
is a principle in own world...
One two is ok...
all...
is annoying...

is tiring of all kind of inflexible...
from big to small...
Never can negociate...
HArd like rock...
Putting me like drowning in the river...
stabbed by million kind of kinfe...
the unstoppable bleeding...
had made me
Breathless...
Helpless...
Depress...

i demotivation...
trying my best to break this rock...
but is heartbreaken...
break into smaller piece and smaller piece and smaller piece..
as,
it dont want help at all...
until now...
has blow by the wind...
disappear...

is really looks like going sick d..
seldom sick..
but i wish sick...
cos no need work...
no need so fan...
wish lie on bed whole day sleep...
no need thk...
and wanna don wake up...

neck very pain...
wish got ppl massage me...
clothes havent wash too...
today i no appetie too...
have breakfast alone everyday...
seriously...
can i don wake up?

whole day only listen the a song...
I remember what you wore on the first day...

什么都不想理。。

Is tiring...
two week not stop working...
what can i say...
Own business...
i ready to scarify for this...

work,
is part of my life...
i cant stay home without work...
but i cant work without rest...
without life...
work life balance...
is difficult to achieve...

my business...
to support it operation still running...
i scarify a lot thing...
One thing i have to say i appologize to anna n boon...
Cause i really rarely find them...
one time two timw three time they might understand...
but if it consistently in this past two years...
they will annoy...

business is smooth...
what i can report here...

but not everything smooth...
sometime it need time...
but sometime...
it annoy me too...
start don't want bother...
let it go...

i have to become pupet

no sharing,
no question,
no comment,
a little also no...
otherwise will be sentense death.

everytime also my emo,
my irrational,
my temper,
my rush.

should be silent pupet life.

Restructure...

Thanks to my dear...
Always support me...
And stay at my side...
I just wonder how...
If now i live without you..

Bagoods has restructure...
i could say is a bit wasted...
But,
For long term...
i rather...
It might not benefit me...
It just avoid me from getting any possible disaster...
Although im the person insist this restructure decision...

One company separate into two...
Is consider separate...
We dint separate at all...
Still working each other...
But,
Is into two management..

This time...
i could operate my company my own...
Cause i will in charge one of it...
Sincerely...
It is a bit stressful..
But,
i ready to challenge it...

There are only one good thing of this project...
Which is leslie and me friendship dint break...
Thank to WS...
Thanks to both parties parents...
and especially thanks to Yuk...
Leslie ex...
Respect you and appreciate your effort...
I think you done it...

We end up benefit any party...
but in future...
Who know...?

Containment plan

She finally decide le...
Hope wat she say is true....
I know the path is difficult to you..
I just can say...
I appreciate...
I know what should i do in the future...
I worry...
But i dont scare...
And i ready for it...
at most i xin ku more...
Rather than i c u suffer all the way...
For me..
it still easy thing...

personally...
i so difficult now...
two days before i really dont know how to do...
thanks to my second brother, bin...
who teach me "containment plan"...
because of this containment plan,
i suddenly feel every thing been settle...
good!
i learn one strong thing...

Bagoods network...
Leslie...
i just hope you two can understand me...
i very hard too...
and i know it too...
i means those advise i get so far...
i jsut can say...
i decide le this time...

in this moment...
i could really cry out...
if i want...
erm...
but,
tomorrow sun still will arise as usual...
i need to hold this feeling...
and try my best to solve everything and make it beauty to every one...
at most i give to you all...
I nevermind...
futhermore...
i also maybe cant enjoy what i win in coming days...

happiness gone by just a word.

if can...
i really don want to break...
but i cant...
i really cant believe u still don wan to say the word...
i really depress and give up...
you rather scarifies me to protect this word...

no title

Alone in the car...
Leslie dad give his car to me..
As today I have many appointment..
Thanks vincent chua for all this...
Bagoods and I appreciate it...

Music has on...
Don't know why...
This time listen every single song...
Also feel like singing to me...
Heart sour...
Cold cold de...
Feel want cry...
But my eyes was swollen le...
Feel want to text her...


Holding the phone...
But I cant...
Cause we have break...

the WORST day in my life

sorry..
i cant give you my promise...
give you happiness...
but i really love you...
unwilling...
dear,
hope you find your happiness soon...

Post blog at cc first time....

I at sandakan again..
For PC fair..
This time..
We sell laptop..
Mission is to sold 50unit laptop..
But,
At the end..
We end up only 50% sales..
Tat is 25unit only..

This was my first time sell laptop..
As I nvr thk I could sell this thing..
From camera, to printer, to MP5, to computer accessories, to today I sell laptop..
Ridiculous!
A guy who dono IT at all,
Today can sell such things..
Losu, good job!
Coming days I even will learn modify printer!
Crazy..

I still staying sandakan bcosn
I need go tawau for PC fair..
Again..
I went there for my second time..
This year is I continuosly 3 years fly to my home town here for fair le..
So used to this place culture..
No matter is location, customer behaviour, competitors, product categories, brand and price..
I also master le..
Maybe is good for me too..
For my future coming here to develop my sandakan..

Bagoods start having laptop product le..
Where it is higher risk for my business..
As it is high cost product,
Low profit margin,
And no credit term.
Scare...
Really scare..

I have a silly dear...

She was just 23 years old...
She is cute...
But she looks like auntie...
Cause she always think much...
I think nowadays all girls also say herself think much de ba!
Just dono who think more lo...

Ya.
Eunice is my dear...
She just a normal girl...
But a girl give too much stress to her own...
Ya,
Work is no wrong...
Earn money also is right...
But life is just one time...
There are nothing more precious than our life...
Thats why...
LOVE LIFE!
hehe...
But,
My this silly girl,
Just abit too focus in work and cari duit....
Neglecting her life a bit...
that's why she so suffer in her pass relationship....
loss many precious memories...
But
Nevermind...
Hope she will get back to enjoy life soon...
And see her smile always...

this silly girl...
always think of other first...
human being...
sometimes be selfish abit is good to own good...
just at least have a healthy life first only can protect the other ma...

Every changes,
Every new things...
Also need time...
Never push too hard to our own...
Just make it slowly...
Untill the end...
No one no the answer...
Just...
Important is we all enjoy the moment be together now...
Future...
No one can guaranty what happen...
at least...
Now...
Two is better than one...

Special to Eunice:
You already do your best...
No matter in your job, or relationship, or to your friends and family...
You,
Well done!
Don't think too much and make pressure to own...
Im here alwat\ys give support to you...
No worry ok...
Just go ahead...
Most important you relax, delighted and happiness...
Ya,
I love you dear...
Never doubt about it...
Losu say one...
In his own blog here...
Just smile~

Life after college

Hmm...
it was quite some time i dint up date my blog...

Hmm...
Currently abit busy...
Plus i abit lazy to write blog...
Cause...
everyday also a different story for me...
I couldn't write everythg here...


After back from Sabah trip...
i should say...
My life starts become more exciting...
As my business is getting tougher and tougher...
However...
things always not come smoothly everytime...
I could overcome every possible downturn...


My business...
My lovely Bagoods Network...
One and half years been formed...
Just like an overnight dream...
Now i could see...
My office...
1800sf is full with computer accessory...
I could see i have one third of Mr Robert warehouse...
Just a year and 6 months...
I cannot imagine another 1 and a half year is how...
Congratulation to board of the directors...


5 kiosk and 1 office now where the level Bagoods have...
Still not in a very stable condition...
In all this year long...
There is my mission to stablize this baby Bagoods...
I hope in next year...
This baby will be feed till a stronger and growth bigger...

I not lansi of what i have now...
It just a piece of sharing my feeling to those who care me...
Somemore this blog only will view by my lovely friends and family...


In my life now...
There are most of my energy and spirit have spend into my career...
I cant wait to see Bagoods turn into Sdn. Bhd.
It takes time...
I know...
Only after become Sdn. Bhd.
I only could have my second business line...
Where is my own company...
Sore proprietor...
On the other hand...
I hope to be rich faster lo...
No only because i wan bring my family to vacation...
But also i wish to buy Oris watch instead of Cyma...
(i dont wan have this stupid gap...pity...)

Day to day pass...
I getting realize gradually i really like do business...
Maybe i am this type of people ba...
everyday i talking business...
Every minute i think business theory...
Every second i breath because of my business...

Fai di la...
Cant wait to open a war with those "cocodile" in the market...
Big cocodile cant la...
Small and medium one can....
Haha!
Coming this weekend...
there are 1 small cocodile will be die loh!
hahaha!

In this matured market...
there are no opportunity to new entrant to gain a piece of market share...
Only one way to live and sustain...
Which is compete with the existing one and kick them out!
Plaza Lowyat,
I waiting for you...

Sot le ma...
My friend say me zou huo lu mo...
Hmm...
Actually...
something like that la...
Even my exam resit paper also dint go today...
But i clear wat i doing now...
I just need delay one year to graduate....
Nevermind...
I think that was the best for me...
and because of this...
I have a short quarrel with my brother...
Anyhow,
I just hope they could understand me...
I already trying my very best...
Hope you all respect my decision...

Luckily...
she is not...
Not the one who ask me to keep study and take my second paper...
She,
Is eunice...
she is my idol...
i just could not believe there are a girl who can has such achievement...
Dear...
you are awesome...
Losu here respect!
I lose...
But at the same time...
I win...
I lose as compare my career with you...
But i win cause i have you...
hahaha!

Erm...
Gotta end of the story of today...
sad to say...
Guys...
All of the LC gang...
I couldnt graduate with you all...
I only could be your camera man during convo as what i promise you all before...
Sad also i didnt join u all to UK...
I miss you guys and wish all the best to you all...

Special to you all:

Won Won: Remeber MU only is your house oh!hehe...
Soonwei: fast fast get me an ah sou...
Alvin: Alvin fashion house remember to ask me invest ya...
Jon: Be ready to cut your hair lo...
KC: Welcome to join alvin fashion house...
Bochi: you are the biggest potential to be 1st marry oh! jiayou..
Hellen: dajie...is time to appreciate loh! hahaha!
Wanxin: i miss your laugh la...But go UK dont laugh like this wor...
Dua jiao: wahahaha!nth to say... just wan to laugh you...

I also dono wat i doing now...

Last night...
About one week Choco has back KL...
Till last night i only have our man's talk...
As this few days was non-stop working...
Until only last night...
We only have some time to keng kai...
Although not so long...
But i felt important to have this conversation with him...
I feel comfortable each time talk to him...
At least i have him support always no matter where i am...

Thanks to him,
Cause without him...
I wouldn't know what am i doing...
I was a bit out of control myself due to too concentrate in my work...
I,
I admit i have temper this time...
It was unbelievable to me...
I have almost use my business communication style to put in my daily life...
It was terrible...
And i really scare about it when i realize...
And after Choco told me...
I really feel my temper this feel days was damn bad...

I offend lots of people this two weeks...
I think i have indeed...
I scare...
I worry and scare all my relationship will end due to this time mistake...
And i dont want...

I know i say some word which is seriously offend...
I really sorry about it..
And i appologize...
If you think i only blame you is unfair...
Then i really dono what to say...
What you all done to me was seriously breaking my heart...
And i really cant forget it...
I seriously tell you...
And you,
I really don't know whether is my prob or yours...
You almost change...
And i really feel uncomfortable with you...
I,
i dont tknow wat to say...
the one i care the most...

I still will say sorry if i say some word offending you...
but i really dont want to see you guys again...
friend become like this...
really meaningless..

And with you...
i almost heart broken if i really losing you...
same..
no one can make me bomb some one in pm so far...
And in my daily busy business stuff..
i almost dont care anythg...
I cant have my anger mood in this time...
I try my best to control...
andt i almost can...
but at the end you tell me 'if you want blame on me, i have nothing to say'
I really collaspe...
two weeks back to my business everythg was smooth...
but the following day since shat with you...
I wake up late due to i cant sleep the night before...
I late open my booth and i kena saman RM500...

No people know how tired am i...
accept leslie...
thanks many people help this feel days...
soon wei, carwen, joshua...
although is the small thing...
But what you all have done is really really big matter for us...
because we almost dying...
Haha!
finallly i get try my first 48 hours non-stop working...
Those success people always say how hard are them during starting period...
now i am...
And i process it too...
I almost sick...
Whole body pain...
My losu eye also will have panda eye now...
Mom see le must xin tong...
One day drink 5 bottle of red bull...
Zzz...
but im happy...
seeing the result...
I almost forget wat is tired...
only one step more...
we would luckily went up to the shore...
If we could sustain in this coming 2 month.

dad, mom , gor...
Im coming!

she finally made up her mind...
she finally get touch by him...
she finally fall in love to him...
i wilbless them...
and im ok...
i still the same like last year to tell you...
I want my career...
And career will come first to anythg in this period...
You change you mind...
I have nothing to say...
losing you i really upset and bu she de.
i still could say...
bye...
my dear

Im the APPRENTICE!

Chinese new year just pass two hour ago...
Miss New year...

Im Back!
Losu back to Bagoods Network!
Thank you!
From this moment on...
I will 100% focus on my business.
Nothing can affect me...

Corporate...
I still want to be that level...
But not by working...
Sorry...
I will create my own corporate business...
Thank you!

Today was the Happiest day thus far I in Bagoods...
Excellent!

Special to her:
I don't care who you want...
I don't care what you do everyday...
I just want be respected.
No way for you to dishonest to me.

Dad and mom...
And gor gor them...
Thanks to still supporting me...
Gave me sometime...
I won't let you all down!

Ya...
IM THE APPRENTICE!

The last hour before i left KL

No one's home now...
All housemate had back Sandakan...
Already alone at home at KL here for few days...
Seldom could see my house so quiet...
That's why i always switch on the TV...
Hee...
Anyhow...
I like to be at home now...
As here was clean and tidy...
Cause 1 week ago we gotong-royong...

'Time,
Is going by,
So must faster than i,
And i starting regret not spending all here with you...'

Four years college life...
Just end like this...
Really upset...
I really want to be at college life again...
If time allow me to be...
I miss my course mates...
I miss my books, notes, pencil case, bag...
From this moment on,
I am not a student anymore...
Though i was ready to work long time ago...
But i really can't accept that i not a student anymore...
Guys...
Is quite upset that i didn't follow you all to UK...
I really miss you guys...
Hope everyone of us have a good career in future...

Since Jon has back hometown...
Nobody play pool with me le...
And also less going Feeling cafe...
Pei wen not here...
No one call me Iuan er, yum cha...
No one for me to flirt liao...
Soon wei chao le,
Loss a gentle guy talk 'old man' story with me...
As i always like to share with him...

Cham la...
Addicted with LC gang...

last one week...
Work with AverAwards...
At cineleisure...
As i help my fren Jayce...
To manage the staff there...
Yet...
I challenging different thing here...
One week has pass..
I don't know whether i achieve my objective or not...
But i obviously have some changes in the staff there...
And i happy...
Is the staff will improve or not is up to them already...
My job has finish...
But anyhow,
I have improve...
I was jumping into a different level...
Which i must have this skill in my future working environment...
Which is HR management...
Haha!
You know...
During the week i was at the shop...
i really focus 100% on my job...
Again...
It was fun...
And satisfaction...
I know...
I really love working...
Which i should focus now...
In my this current period...
I really should let many private thing go away...
Which really restrict me to perform the my best...
There for...
I really won't thing of relationship now...
And i conclude i will not find her until her birthday on July...

Chinese new year coming soon...
There is only two more days...
This year i bought quite a lot clothes...
hee..
As few years before i really bought less...
Very excited to back home later...
Can see everyone at my house...
In new year..
Is getting happier atmosphere at my house...
Everyone getting more playful now...
Haha!
Hope this year is better than last year...
And hope everyone healthy, happy and peace!
Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Happy birthday to me!

Happy Birthday Losu!

Thanks!
Thanks to many many people...
I love you all always...

Thanks my classmates celebrate with me at Fullhouse...
Thanks for the birthday cake...
Birthday hat...

Thanks to my WS gang...
Again i got a secret recipe cake...
Celebrate Jaya One...
Beers and music accompany...

Thanks for the call from my family...
And those my dear Kluang friends...
A bit surprise from some of my long time din't contact friend...
Cause still remembering my b'day...
Some more my ex colleage...
Even want to thank my staff for the greeting...
Thank you!

Welcome 23 Shee Iuan

One more day...
It was Losu 23 years old birthday luh!
Can't accept that i had reached to this age today...
Ahhh...
Iuan arr...
HAVE TO THINK ADULT LA...
Thank god to bring in me to this world...
And giving me a healthy and peaceful life...
I appreciate...
Anyway...
There are still a lot of people are in misery today...
Recently...
A natural disaster have took lots of life in Haiti...
And there are still many children, man and women, elderly...
Suffering from injured, hunger, cold and mentally distress...
That's why...
This year Iuan birthday wish...
Is hope all these people can get rescue as soon as possible...
And living peacefully...
SO,
Please,
We are not the one most "cham"...
For those who always think negative...
Even think of sucide that one...
Please...
Always remember...
There are thousand and million of people more "cham' than us...
And they never give up...
We,
The one in lucky without and disaster...
Should become the stronger one...
To help the one unlucky...
Instead of blaming many things...
And hurt ourself and harm others...


Two days ago...
My number 1 best friend...
Leslie
Felt difficult to breath when woke up...
When i notice him...
His face was pail and in a very slow movement...
My god...
I knew what had happen...
In heart,
Just pray for him that was just a signal to him...
To stop him from having liquor and cigarette...
As he was heavily taking these thing for pass few weeks...
Guys...
Please stop smoking...
Or smoke less...
That day during i drive him to the clinic...
I told myself...
If one day he really have something force to leave me...
I will definitely...

All i just want to say...
Appreciate what we own...
And responsible what we done...
Iuan together with you...
Hehe

Bye Tar College

Finally i have to say bye bye to my lovely college...
Bye Tarc College...
Thanks for giving me so much memories...
So much education...
And so much experience...

I would like to say im lucky...
That i have come into this study environment...
As it bring me lots of knowledge...
Plus met many friends here..
I have no regret the decision i made 4 years ago...
Now...
Its all about to pass the exam...
And graduate in May...

Currently i like a song...
"two is better than one"
but,
I not really think that i prefer live in 'two' now...
She and me...
Are same...
Both don't wish to have relationship to restrict us...
Nice to have her identical perception with me...
We knew...
And we enjoy...
The FREEDOM of single life...

Yesterday...
Is the the longest period i came out with her...
Anyway...
I suspect...
I not suppose to go out with her yesterday...
As i knew we will getting less thing to say...
Since we met frequently recently...
I really don't wish we end up with no topic to chat one day...
Cause...
Between she and me...
Are not in same gang and industry...

She really did not disappointed me anyway...
Though i knew she always have many guys friends with her...
Though i won't bother too...
But i truly happy that she always be frankly with me...

A guy and a girl have interest to each other is a normal incident...
However,
IF not choose to be a pair of couple...
Then the challenge of the "game" is the endurance...
Cause both don't have the authority to control each other...
Haha...
But,
Anyhow...
My career is still my first concern now...
And i enjoy my life now...
A life which i can do whatever i wish...
As i only 23 mah...
Hee...
But i promise...
I won't let myself to hurt ANYONE!

Here...
I wsih to say something to 2 of my friends.

To Anna:
I don't know how i could help u through this...
But anyway...
I always here to support u...
Please Don't let yourself become silly again...

To Jayce:
Being as buddy about 4 years...
Yea...
I agree you said...
We get through many things all these years...
No matter how...
You always my respect friends plus superior...
I just couldn't accept something that i under estimate...
But,
I still want to say...
I'm open minded...
I just need sometime...
And promise it won't affect our friendship...

Happy New Year!

Happy new year!
Welcome 2010...
I very excited to know what will going to happen to me...
And thanks 2009...
Thanks for giving all the memories to me...

Today woke up very early...
Washed all the clothes that i accumulated for about 3 weeks...
Hee, paiseh...
Cleaned my dusty table,
and tidy up my stuff...
Huh...
Now feel comfortable with my room again...
And let Choco can more frequent to bring Mei Choo come luh...
Keke...
Finally,
I could have my lovely study environment...
After all these days that i only hanging arond outside there...

Place have tidy up,
Mood also had ready to go...
When Losu tell Choco that i going to study...
CB him...
Laugh at me...
Saying that long time din't heard this word form me...
I could understand that...
But things will not going to happen twice!
Losu said!
Just see HOW

There are many things troubling me pass few days...
That i don't know i need to write down here or not...
But really...
One night i really blank in my mind...
Till i lose my memory of my hotmail password...
Got to say...
I need to recover soon...
And get rid from these problems as fast as i could...
Cause,
My main concern now is my exam...
I knew...
No matter how,
I also must graduate my advance diploma...

Lastly...
Today is a big gain for me...
Cause...
I finally got to know what going on to myself now...
I realise the reason...
That making me so dislike study....
And today i write this page
Is just because i express how happy am i now...
Eventually...
I know what should i do...
And that's why i could have my mood to study now...
After a year long...
Terima kasih Tuhan...
And it is never too late for me!